Quotes from Our Junior Wordsmith

Jocelyn may only be 20 months old, but she has lots of things to say that keep us laughing all the time. 

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At dinner last night, Tom offered her some brisket from a holiday feast they’d had at his work.  She looked at it with suspicion.  He told her, “It’s yummy!” 

She looked at the meat (brisket comes from the shoulder of a cow, by the way) and said, “Neeeeeeiiiiiiiggghhh!”  No wonder she was leery.  Who’d want to eat horse meat?!

(Postscript: later on in the meal, I asked her, “What is it?” and she said, “Baaaaaaaa!”  OK, at least mutton is fit for consumption!)

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We pray over our food each time we have a meal, and we always end with “Amen.”  She never seemed to pay much attention, until one day we were puting her to bed, and after bedtime prayers, she burst out with a hearty “Ahhh-meeeeen!”  Now she goes around the house all day saying “Amen, amen!”  It’s really quite hilarious.

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We got a book from one of our favorite kids’ authors, Sandra Boynton, about a little pig who says nothing but “NO” for pretty much the entire story.  Well, that was a brilliant move on our part!  What a great idea–teach a toddler how to say NO!  (*groan*)  Of course, “no” is now the staple answer around here to anything that sounds like a question.  We make the best of it, and it actually makes for some pretty silly conversations.  Here’s a recent example:

Christy: Are you tired?

Jocelyn: No.

C: Are you cranky?

J: No.

C: Are you happy?

J: No.

C: Do you have a boyfriend?

J: No.

C: Aren’t there any boys good enough for you?

J: No.

C: So, are you going to write boys off forever?

J: No.

(Well, that’s a relief!)

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We were driving home from church, talking to Jocelyn to keep her from falling asleep (our drive takes about an hour), and playing the “NO” game.  Then the whole thing changed.

Tom: Do you do calculus?

Jocelyn: MOO!

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Since I am pregnant, I try to remind Jocelyn that there is a baby in Mommy’s tummy, and we need to be nice to the baby (that is, please don’t kick me in the gut while I’m changing your diaper!!). 

One day, I was changing her as usual, and she reached over to my belly and knocked on it.  “Knock knock!  Baby!  Hiiiiii!” 

“Is it a boy baby or a girl baby in Mommy’s tummy?”

(pause) “Gi-wul.”

We’ll see!

Maybe Wal-Mart Really is Evil!

I was picking up my groceries last night around 9 pm when I made my last stop at Wal-Mart.  (I shop three stores on the same road to get the best sales.)  Anyway, I needed a new broom, among other things. 

At the checkout, the cashier appeared perfectly normal.  That is, she did until she scanned my broom.  All of a sudden, she started cackling and her eyes got very big.  “Hehehehehehe!  I neeeeeed a new broooooom!”  It was the best stereotypical witch face/laugh I have seen, ever.  I’m just glad Jocelyn wasn’t with me!

Little Escape Artist Baffles Parents

So Jocelyn can now get out of her crib.  OK, I was pretty sure this didn’t happen until kids were at least two years old…oh wait, NOW I remember!  She’s as tall as a 3-year-old!  Yes, so after consulting with a few other moms, I concluded that we needed to put her in a toddler bed.  Thankfully for the budget, our crib comes equipped with a brilliant conversion feature!  Double yes! 

The fist night, she screamed and wanted to leave her room.  (That’s why God made door locks!)  The second night, she slept on the floor.  Last night, she went right to sleep with a smile on her face.  I guess that means we’re making progress!